


Of Roses and Ash

by Cyleseislosinghermind



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Betrayal, Bittersweet, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Sad Ending, Useless Lesbians, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29708571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cyleseislosinghermind/pseuds/Cyleseislosinghermind
Summary: “That’s not what I mean, Sage. In our realm, they say, well they say-”“They say what Nova?”“They say that the master’s of Wix are robbed of their ability to love another. That it is the sacrifice they make to serve their realm.”“That’s absurd. It is impossible to rob someone of such a thing, no matter the path they choose.”She sagged in relief, “I wonder why they tell us that story when we are kids then.”“Because it is easier to demonize that which you don’t understand than to learn to know it as your own.”This is just an "I was ordered to kill you but I'm in love with you," story but there's not a happy ending.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	1. What I still Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to anyone who is reading this! This is my first published work and would love any feedback you have to offer. Please bear with me, as the story really picks up as it goes on. enjoy!
> 
> want to help me move across the country? send tips to my venmo: Cylese-Davidson or my cashapp: CyleseDav

There are ten things I remember from that day. The first being that the air was thick with the smell of spring rain. It was one of the first warm days of the year, and it felt as if the earth was taking a breath. I remember looking closely at the still budding flowers, the wind shaking water droplets off the leaves like a dog ruffling its coat. This was back when she still came out into the wilderness with me, when luxuries like that were still afforded to young girls who looked a little too hard at each other.

“Sage! Look at that!” she yelled towards me, pointing at the rocks sparkling just below the surface of the stream. I looked over into the water, and then back at her.

The second thing I remember is the way her hair tangled in front of her still bright eyes. She constantly was shoving the ends behind her ears and blowing them out of her face. I wanted to tuck them for her, to see what her skin would feel like underneath my fingertips, but I was too young to even know what desire like that was, much less how to act on it.

Suddenly, the wind blew horrifically hard, and I watched as she lost her already quite precarious balance on the edge of the water. Before I could reach out for her, she tumbled face first into the icy stream. I stood panic stricken, my mind racing through all the ways her mother was going to have me executed for being here with her in the first place, much less if she got sick.

Before I could muster a movement towards her however, her head popped above the surface, laughing. The third thing I remember is how her laugh sounded that day, young and bright and unrestrained. She swam over to me and looked up into my face. 

“C’mon!” She said, grabbing my hand, trying to ease me into the water. 

“Novaaaa,” I said, hesitating. “If your mother found us right now she would be furious. She already said now that you’re coming of age I can’t be around anymore!”

“Aw c’mon Sage,” She replied, squinting her eyes in the afternoon sun. The fourth thing I remember from that day is realizing so intensely that if she asked something of me, I would do it. “I’m hardly ‘of age’ anyways. We’re fourteen! It will be years before I have to take the oath anyways. Now come swim, please?”

I smiled down at her. Sometimes I forgot how much younger she felt than me. How little care she was burdened with. The fifth thing I remember from that day is the release i felt inside my chest as she suddenly yanked me into the water.

The moment my skin hit the water, I opened my mouth to cry out in shock, but it filled with water. I let my body go limp and sink under the water. Through the blur, I could see her figure looking down at me, concerned. As I sank to the bottom of the water I could feel her panicking to reach me again, before I shot up and shouted, startling her.

“SAGE!” she shouted, before smacking my arm. “That wasn’t funny! You scared me!” I started laughing so hard I fell back down into the water, and watched as she stomped onto the shore and sat down, her dress sopping wet.

I kept laughing to myself as I pulled myself out of the water, ringing out the ends of my skirt, before settling down next to her on the bank. I nudged her with my shoulder, before looking over at her. The sixth thing I remember from that day is her tears.

“Hey, hey hey hey, what’s wrong?” I said quickly, turning to face her and grabbing her shoulder. “C’mon, it was just a joke.”

“Well it wasn’t funny,” she said sharply, lifting up her sleeve to wipe at her face before remembering that it was soaking wet also. 

I sighed, and looked down at our feet. We had abandoned our shoes when we started climbing trees earlier, and now they would be the only dry article of clothing we had.

The seventh thing I remember from that day was our silence. She had always been anxious about death. For someone as flighty and risky as her, she never enjoyed the morbidity of my sense of humor. Perhaps that is a luxury afforded to those who have not had to fight for respect. Or maybe it’s much simpler than that; perhaps I am simply a colder person.

The sun started to sink lower into the sky, and we both started standing up to walk back. It wasn’t until we reached where we had left our shoes that either of us spoke again.

“Hey, Nova, I’m really sorry for freaking you out earlier. I really was just joking around.” I said quietly as we put our shoes back on, our dresses damp and stiff. 

The eighth thing I remember from that day was looking over at her and noticing her arms covered in goosebumps, and the slight shake that resonated out from her chest.  
“Nova, are you okay?” 

When she looked back up at me, her cheeks had flushed into a deep red, contrasting with her warm brown hair. 

“I don't feel so good anymore, Sage. Maybe swimming wasn’t such a good idea.” 

“Okay let’s head back,” I said hurriedly, rubbing my hands on either side of her arms while we started walking back.

By the time we made it back to the bridge that crossed back over into her mother’s realm, she was trembling so hard her teeth chattered. 

As we approached, I could see the edges of the magical border start to give way, sensing her arrival. I walked with her until the steps of the bridge began.

“Sage, come on, I’m cold,” She muttered, walking forward, but I held back.

“Nova, as soon as I go through there, your mother is going to know I’m here, and she’s going to eat me alive.” I replied, taking a step back.

The ninth thing I remember from that day was the way her eyes glinted as she looked back at me, it was the first time she had looked at me as though I was something different from her.

“I’ll explain it to her, Sage. it’ll be okay. Please?” She begged me softly. I looked up at the darkening sky, knowing that she would argue with me until the moon was high if I didn’t go with her.

“Fine, but I’m only walking you to the door.”

She smiled at me, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

We walked through the border, my skin tingling and burning. I never got used to that sensation. My homeland didn’t require defensive magic, the stories of us kept unwanted visitors away. On the other side, it was instantly warmer. I forgot that Nova’s people lived in almost infinite summer. I looked over at her, watched as she instinctually stood taller, and I habitually fell behind her.

I looked around us, noticing the wards floating just around the border, guarding it, heeding off unwanted visitors. I squinted, focused my energy towards them, and watched as they brightened in defense. Nova nudged me, clearly wanting me to stop. I skipped ahead of her and grinned at her silliness. Her mother already knew I was within the realm, no damage could be done by a little joke.

I turned back around to walk forward again, looking up as we approached the castle entrance. We were still twenty feet back when the gates started swinging open, Nova’s mother appearing behind them. 

“Nova Alexandriel! I expect a thrilling explanation for where you’ve been!” Her mother announces loudly. “And an even better explanation about what that ingrate is doing cowering behind you!”

I saw Nova’s shoulders rise in defense, her chill wearing off in the warmth of her home.  
“Do not speak about her in such a manner, mother.” She spit out the word mother as if it left a bad taste in her mouth, and I flinched at her tone.

“Its fine,” I whispered to her, and stepped out from behind her. I threw on my most cavalier smile towards her mother. 

“Greetings, your greatness, from the Ashen Realm! I mean no harm, only to escort your daughter safely back to you.”

Her mother looked over at me sharply. In the months it had been since I had seen her, and in that time I had gone from a child to a tall, gangly thing. I realized in that moment that I was tall enough to look her in the eyes, so I did. We stood in silence until Nova shoved me, quietly begging me to step down.

“Well from what I gather, Sage, daughter of Cain, you are the reason she was gone in the first place. Nova! Come here this instant.”

I looked to Nova as she took a step forward towards her mother, and it would not be the last time that I had wished to reach for her. To sweep her away from mothers and oaths and take her back to the places I knew.

Once Nova was within her mother’s reach, I watched as she grabbed Nova's wrist and slapped it. I would have flinched, but I could feel eyes on me, and my father would disapprove of showing weakness to those of the Rose Realm. 

“Now,” The queen muttered and turned to me, “you will be escorted back to the edge of the realm, and you will not return-”

“Mother!” nova exclaimed, extracting herself from her mother’s vice grip on her arm. “That's not fair! We just went for a swim and then came back-”

“SILENCE!” The queen screamed. “Sage is of the Ashen Realm! She is not good company! All they bring is chaos and despair. She is no longer welcome here, the border will make sure of that.” 

I lifted my chin indignantly, but did not respond. We, of course, had similar stories of the Rose Realm. My earliest memory of my father was of the warnings about this place. ‘Remember, just as a rose is beautiful and enticing’ he would say as he lifted one in front of me, ‘they also always draw blood.’ and pricked his finger on the tip of a thorn.

“But mother! She’s my friend, my companion!” Nova argued once more, not noticing her mother nodding to her soldiers to accompany Nova inside. They took her by the arms and started pulling her backwards, while two more came and stood in front of me.

“She is not your companion anymore, Starborn.” The queen said to Nova. “take her away,” she proclaimed, and the guards started pushing me back away from the castle.

“No! Mother, you can’t do this to me!” Nova screamed once more. I recoiled at the sound. I longed to call out to her, to comfort her in some way, but I knew that nothing could be done.

I heard her wails all the way to the border. The tenth thing I Remember about that day, is the deafening silence that came the moment they shoved me through.


	2. On Oaths and Initiations

Two years later.

The clanging of swords echoed around the stone room as dozens of trainees paired off to spar. I flung myself up to sit on the ledge, eating an apple, enjoying the show. I spent most of my days here, my father wanting me to learn everything about our ways of fighting. Tomorrow was my initiation into the inner court; the thing I had been born for.

I looked up as I heard the fighting come to a sudden stop, and saw my father coming in.

He was a mountain of a man, broad, strong, scarred. He commanded attention, not just as the leader of our realm, but also out of the legends of his fighting. It was said that without him, Ashen Realm would not exist. 

He looked around for me, and I leaped off the ledge I had been sitting on. In the past two years I had gone from tall and gangly to strong and lithe. My father had been worried at first; our warriors are put into different categories and he was the master of war. 

I, however, had been chosen by our druid as a learner of Wix- the magic of deception and trickery. We spent years training and honing our craft. Learning to appear and disappear at will. The only thing respected in our realm more than strength was charm and trickery, and I had mastered them both.

“Sage!” My father bellowed, walking towards me, and I smirked as I watched people part ways to create a path for him. “It is your sixteenth birthday, little shrike. Are you ready for your assessment tomorrow?” 

I grinned up at him, before throwing the apple up, and as he instinctively looked up at it, I slipped behind him and held a dagger to his throat.

In an instant, everyone in the room raised their weapons, and it all went quiet. For a moment, I could sense their fear that I had just earned myself a death sentence, before my father’s laughter echoed loudly across the room, encouraging everyone else to join him.

“Very good, Sage! You get quicker every day.” He took me by the shoulder and led me across the room to the tables before sitting down with me. “Now, you enjoy today, for tomorrow you join the inner circle, and your life will never be the same. Are you sure this is the path you wish to take?” He looked at me intently, grey eyes swirling with knowledge I never dared to ask about. 

“Father, I have known since I was a child what I was born to do.”

“Oh yes, I know,” he sighed. “But things are different now. I know you have a softness for the daughter of the Rose Realm, I am hoping that this will not cloud your judgment.”

I blinked at him. “Father, I have not seen her in two years, since her mother cast me out.”

“I know this, Shrike, but you still call out her name in your sleep.”

I recoiled away from him. “How did you know that?” I asked incredulously. 

“People talk, Sage. especially about you. You’re… different than most. Even more so since you were exiled from the Rose Realm.”

“You can’t be exiled from somewhere you don’t belong to in the first place, father.” I reply.

“Stop acting foolish, it doesn’t suit you, and do not disrespect me either. I have freed you from the obligation of marrying some foolish suitor but that does not mean you are free from the other expectations set before you.” He stood up, straightened his cloak, made out of wolf’s fur, and looked down at me. “Now, go enjoy your last day of freedom, tomorrow, your future begins.” 

I looked up at him and nodded. I sat there and watched him walk across the room, his heavy steps echoing as he went from trainer to trainer, assessing their teaching technique, before leaving the room.

Eventually, I rose from my spot in the corner, and walked outside. The cool air filled my lungs and refreshed me. I took my hair down from its braids and let it fall down my shoulders once again, and felt the air flow through it. It had darkened with age, what once was pale white now a deep golden brown, though my skin stayed as pale as ever. 

Within our realm we did not have the pleasures of sunlight peeking through the trees, warming the air and livening the woods with creatures. I used to be embittered to the darkness of my home, but just as my father did, I became fond of the chilled wind against my face and the feeling of frost beneath my fingertips.

I walked down the path back towards the towers my father and I resided in, whistling to myself the tune of an old lullaby, when suddenly, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I stopped, lept up and grabbed the tree branch above me, and silently swung myself up onto it.

I peered through the dark trees, and heard the sound of footsteps rumbling through the bushes. No one from the Ashen Realm would have been plundering around in such a gross manner, I knew that for certain,

As the sound grew closer and closer, I reached back for my dagger that was latched to my leg, and when the sound was beneath me, I leaped down and grabbed the culprit by the hair.

“What business do you have approaching the castle of Cain?” I snarled into their ear as I held the dagger to their throat. They let out a gargled scream, struggling to stay as still as possible.

“I wish to see the daughter of Cain,” they said hesitantly. 

“And who would be inquiring without first sending word?” I queried, deepening my voice and creating a mirage around my face. 

“Nova, daughter of Andromeda, Queen of the Roses.”

As the words left her mouth, I stumbled back in shock, my mirage dropping, and she whipped around to see me.

“Sage?” She said incredulously, as I stared at her dumbfounded.

“Nova?” I asked. “Is that really you?” I looked her up and down and assessed how much she had changed. Her hair was cut to her shoulders and a much lighter brown, her skin sun-kissed and warm, and she had grown taller, almost as much as I had.

“It's me, don't you remember me?” she asked teasingly, reaching out to greet me. As her hands touched my face in the traditional Rose greeting, she muttered, “still as icy as ever.”

I reached up and put my hands over hers, staring at her in surprise, I opened my mouth to speak but no words would come out.

She stepped back to straighten her dress out, Deep burgundy material rippling down to her ankles, a bow and some arrows strapped to her back.

“Well, aren’t you happy to see me?” she asked, a trickle of doubt in her voice.

“Hell, of course I am Nova, I’m just shocked that you’re here.” I breathed out, still unable to look away from her.

“You didn’t think I would miss your sixteenth birthday now did you?” she said, stepping closer to me again. As she reached out for me once more, I suddenly became very aware of how exposed we were.

“Follow me.” I said urgently, and for the first time, grabbed her hand and dragged her along. I could hear her stumbling behind me, struggling to keep up with my quick pace, but I knew if my father saw her here, he would skin me alive for risking her honor and our reputation.

As we reached the tower walls, I peered around a corner and saw the normal four guards standing at the entrance. Like my father had told me so many times before, people talk, and I could not risk them seeing her. 

I turned back to her, “I have a plan,” I said. “But it’s a little insane.”

“Aren’t all your ideas insane?” She asked jokingly, before lifting the hood of her cloak to hide her face. “Just sneak me in, dumbass.”

I stared at her in shock, knowing her mother would kill her if she had heard her say that word, before shaking myself out of it. “I can’t exactly sneak you in when you’re wearing THAT color,” I said, nodding towards her dress. “If you haven’t noticed, we wear black, and grey, and sometimes green, but NEVER red.”

She sighed and looked down at herself, shaking her head. “I should have thought of that.”

“Well its too late now, so are you in or are you out? I can get you in the tower, or I can take you home.” I said hurriedly, checking over my shoulder once more.

“I’m in.” She said confidently. 

“Okay,” I said, turning toward the stone wall of the tower. “You’re going to hold onto me as tightly as you can, and I’m going to climb up. Two rules, dont pull my hair, and don’t let go, got it?” 

“You can’t possibly carry us both up this wall, its a hundred feet up!” she exclaimed.

“Shush or you’ll get us caught and I really wont! But yes, i can, I climb up this wall every day, and you’re a thin little sprite anyways. Now come on!” I say emphatically, before starting to climb, stopping to let her grab onto my shoulders.

As we ascended, I could feel her legs swinging against mine, and her grip grew tighter and tighter the higher we went. Eventually, we finally made it to the top, and i pulled us both into the room, and we toppled over each other.

I stood up, heaving, brushing off my clothes from the grime of the wall, and watched her rise off the floor.

“How did you get so strong?” She asked, amazed. 

I shrugged. “I train six hours a day, every day, and tomorrow is my initiation into the inner circle. If I can’t carry that much, then what’s the point?”

“So you settled on battle warrior then?” I watched as she turned to inspect the room. I realized it was quite messy, but it was too late to do anything about that now.

“No actually, I am a master of Wix.” 

She whipped around towards me, her face going cold. “Why would you choose such a thing?” she asked, horrified.

I scrunched my face in confusion, before stepping towards her. “What is so horrible about it? It keeps me out of the battlefield and lets me do something I actually enjoy- magic.” I ended my sentence by whipping my hand and the lights brightened in the room.

“But isn’t the path of the Wix the path of misery?” 

I scoffed. “Why would you say such a thing?” I asked, bothered by her question. “Just because our ways are different than yours doesn’t mean they are miserable.”

“That’s not what I mean, Sage. In our realm, they say, well they say-”

“They say what Nova?”

“They say that the master’s of Wix are robbed of their ability to love another. That it is the sacrifice they make to serve their realm.”

“That’s absurd. It is impossible to rob someone of such a thing, no matter the path they choose.”

She sagged in relief, “I wonder why they tell us that story when we are kids then.” 

“Because it is easier to demonize that which you don’t understand than to learn to know it as your own.”

I turned away from her for a moment, to remove my armor and weapons. I could feel her staring at me as I took weapon after weapon out of my outfit, before setting them all down on my dresser and turning back to her.

“How have you been Nova? Last time I saw you, you were..” I trailed off. “Well, you were screaming.” I finished.

She sighed, and I saw her looking around for a place to sit. “You can just sit on my bed if you like, sorry I wasn’t expecting visitors. She smiled at me, the way she used to, and took off her cloak before sitting on the edge of the bed. I went around to the other side and sat as well, looking over at her.

“Well,” she began, “after that ordeal my mother put me back into my training classes for my oath. She basically imprisoned me, controlled my eating, my sleeping, all of my learning. It’s been that way until this year, really. She’s finally loosened up a little. But oh my, I have to tell you about this time!” She laughed, and carried on, and I listened and the day stretched on for what felt like eternity.

Hours had passed, and as we laid on the bed next to each other, laughing and telling stories, the dinner bells in the towers suddenly rang. 

“I can go and bring us back some food, if you want,” I said, sitting up to put my shoes back on. 

“Isn’t it your birthday celebration?” she asked, watching me as I grabbed my dagger and slide it into its sheath. 

“No, I told my father I didn’t want one, and he doesn’t care about things like that anyways.”

“Why didn’t you want one?” She asked softly, turning and swinging her legs off the side of my bed. 

I stepped towards her, looking intently at her, “because there was no one there I would have wanted to celebrate with anyways.”

“Oh really?” she said, smirking at me, her dark hair falling into her face the way it used to. “Who would you have wanted to celebrate it with, then?”

I stepped even closer to her, so close I could feel her breath touch my face. “You,” I said quietly, hesitantly, afraid of her reaction.

Before I could blink her lips were on mine, soft and warm and everything I had thought about them being. I suppose I didn’t react quick enough, because she pulled back, embarrassment heating up her features. She opened her mouth to say something but before she could I kissed her, fervently, my hands raising up to touch her face the way I never let myself before.

As we pulled away, a smile tugged at my lips that I couldn’t keep down. 

“I’ve missed you, Nova.” I said softly, letting my hands rest against her waist. 

“Oh Sage, you have no idea.” She replied, grinning. “Now go get us some food! I’m hungry.” 

I turned back to look at her before I went out the door, and saw her throw herself back on the bed. I remember permanently etching that into my brain. Her, in my bed, carefree, young, beautiful, and with me, even just for a moment, she was mine.

\---

When I returned with food, we ate and talked until the moon had long risen.

“Don’t you need to get home?” I asked. We were laying on the bed, facing each other, our plates on the floor and our cups that were once filled with wine now thrown on the floor. 

“My mother isn’t due home for two more days, and even if I left now, I wouldn’t be able to find my way.”

I looked at her intently, “if you’re more comfortable somewhere else I’m sure I can find somewhere for you to sleep, or maybe-”

“Shhh,” she said giggling. “If I’m being honest, I’d rather just be here with you. Is that okay?” I could see the slightest bit of insecurity in her eyes.

“Nova, of course its okay. There is never a moment I don’t want you here with me.” I replied, reaching out to stroke her cheek. 

As I did, she leaned over and kissed me, and then kissed me again and again and suddenly our hands were everywhere and nothing in the world mattered except her and her warm skin and the way it felt against my icy figures.

Later, after passion had taken the energy from our bones, she fell asleep, and i stayed awake, thinking that it doesn’t matter what comes tomorrow, with my initiation or her impending oath, all that mattered was this, and us, and the way she breathed my name and smiled when she did so.

As the morning light came through the window, my eyes fluttered open to see her hovering above me. I smiled, and kissed her quickly, before panicking.

“Shit!” I exclaim and gently push her to the side and bolt across the room. “My assessment is today!”

She threw her hand over her mouth and started laughing, before muttering an “oops!”

“Yeah ha ha ha,” I said sarcastically. “This is only the most important day of my life!”

“Darling, it will be fine!” She said, sliding off the bed and holding a sheet around herself. “You are going to be magnificent, and I will be here waiting for you until you get back, okay?”

Her green eyes were shining in the morning sun, and I walked over and kissed her, before arming myself with my last weapon, and opening the door.

“Wish me luck?” I said, turning back to her once more.

“You won’t need it, but yes. Good luck!” She shouted as I closed the door.

\----

As I stumbled into the great hall, the doors creaking behind me as the guards closed them, I didn’t have to look up to see the confused look on my father’s face. As I approached him, he swung his arm around my shoulder.

“Is everything alright, Shrike? You look flushed.” He asked me quietly.

“Yes father,” i replied. “Just nervous is all.”

He laughed and slapped me on the back. “I was too, but you’ll be fine. Now come with me.”

We passed through the great hall and into the room of the inner circle, where the council was waiting for me. Tradition calls for thirteen members, and my father’s father had died just six weeks ago, leaving a vacancy for me.

“Come, young one, show us what you have learned!” Lady Flint called for me from across the table. I looked over at her, and she motioned to the center of the room.

After a long demonstration of everything from hand to hand combat to having to pick pocket everyone in the room at some point without them knowing, they finally initiated me.

“Repeat after me,” my father said. “I am the balance that tempers the light. I am the good in the darkness, the rational in the passionate, and the reasonable in the doubt. I solemnly swear to uphold the code of the Wix, and all that it entails, and that my heart will be bound to my realm, forever.”

As I finished the last few words, a sense of calm washed over me like I had never experienced. I had done it, I had completed the task in front of me.

“Now,” my father said, “down to business. The Rose Realm has become even more tempestuous in their dealings, and I sense a threat of war. We have consulted the Wix, and the only clear action is to have an offensive strike.”

I nodded along and listened intently as they discussed and discussed. I sat by the window and could barely see the window in the tower where Nova was, and before I realized it I was no longer listening. 

“Sage. SAGE!” my father exclaimed. “Did you hear us?”

I shook my head sheepishly. 

“The Wix has advised us on what to do to temper the Queen’s advances, and the Wix says it must be you.”

“Okay.” I said confidently. “What’s my task?” my heart filled with pride as I stood tall, ready to pave my place as a member of the inner council. 

“You are to kill Nova Alexandriel, Daughter of Andromeda, The Rose Queen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Want to help me move across the country and continue writing? my venmo is Cylese-Davidson and my CashApp is CyleseDav! anything at all helps me pursue my dream!


	3. on compromise and sacrifice

Over the next few months, our entire realm had shifted its focus. The Rose Queen kept inching closer and closer to our borders, causing our patrols to increase and increase until we all hit points of exhaustion. Meanwhile, my entire life had become training for learning magic to go undetected by the Rose Realm’s wards.

I awoke at dawn each morning, and trained until nightfall, then participated in the evening patrol, and repeated this cycle until I was the sort of tired you can never recover from. But each night, when I returned, I went to my father to try and convince him to change his mind.

In the sixth month, we hit a breaking point.

“GODDAMNIT Sage! I won't hear another word of this! You either come up with a better plan or you follow ours! Do you understand me?” He bellowed, whipping around to face me. 

I took a step back. “So, you’re saying if i figure out a better, or alternative way, I won’t have to kill her?”

He sighed deeply. “Listen, I know that you have a softness for this girl. I know she was here on your sixteenth birthday,” I opened my mouth to ask how on earth he knew that, but he continued on. “Don’t ask how, as I said, people talk. I understand that this is painful for you but sometimes we must make sacrifices.” He turned back around and continued sharpening his axe.

“Would you have done it if it was mom?” I asked boldly. I took a step back as he violently whipped around to face me once more, his eyes darkening.

“Do not even speak such a thing to me,” He said bitterly, before heaving a sigh and sitting back down. Silence filled the space between us as I waited for him to continue.

“I suppose,” His voice softening, “That if you feel that strongly about the whole thing, we could try to figure something else out.”

“What if we kidnapped her?” I posited. “She would want to come anyways.”

“The rose queen would become relentless. Her mother needs to think that she has died, we must be perceived as merciless or she will never be scared off.”

“What if we send her away?” 

He took a deep breath while contemplating it.

“That could be a possibility, but you must understand the consequences of that. She could never return to her homeland, or to here. And not even the council could know about it. Too many eyes and ears could betray us.”

“Then that’s the plan,” I said confidently. “I will find a way to get her to cross the sea, where its warmer anyways. She will be safe there and then the Rose Queen will back off.”

He nodded firmly, and watched as I walked towards the door.

“I have one condition,” He said as I stepped through the doorway. I turned back to him.

“What is it?” 

“You cannot accompany her. You must stay here to inherit our realm.” I stopped cold in my tracks. It never occurred to me that my father would hold to the tradition of realms falling from parent to child. After I became a master of the Wix, and not a warrior like him, it seemed out of the question.

“Why?” I asked incredulously. “Wouldn’t you rather choose someone from the council to be your successor?”

“No one from the council would have your drive and compassion to solve a problem like this one.”

“But father I have no desire to rule! I’m not good at it!”

“That is my condition. Take it or leave it.” he said firmly.

“Fine,” I said angrily, and stormed out of the room.

\-----

That night, the first round of birds came. Crows, that scratched and screeched until everyone had either been run underground or in cellars. I watched from my window as the flew below the tower, chasing the guards further inside. 

I noticed one straying from its murder, and flying up towards me. It landed on my window sill and gestured towards its leg, where a small note had been tied with a dark red ribbon. Hesitantly, I reached towards it and undid the knot. As soon as the knot was loosened, the bird flew off, directly east, towards the Rose Realm, its supposed home.

I unfolded the note slowly, wary of any sort of trick, but it was true to its nature; simply a note, with four rose petals inside.

Sage,  
I write this to you in hopes that you hold the same sentiments that you held six months ago, and that the current circumstances of our warring realms does not change your affections.

My mother is planning a siege within the next few months. They are expecting an offensive move from your father. But that is not why I am writing you this letter.  
I have found a loophole in the wards, near the west entrance. I plan to test its capability the night of the next full moon, three nights from now. I hope that you will meet me by the stream we fell in as children. I miss you, dearly, and long to feel you against me once more.

I hope to see you soon, and that you are surviving the regiment of your father’s soldiers.

Always yours,

Nova.

I read the letter four times, before coming to my senses and hiding it within the pages of an old book my mother had left me. It occurred to me then that the night of the full moon was the night before her oath. I wonder if she is thinking of our night before my initiation. I longed to fix the wrongs I committed, rushing her back to the border of our realm, ignoring her questions and pushing her out.

As I went to sleep that night, there were four rose petals clenched in my fist, and for the first time in months, I rested.

\-------

The next three days passed at an agonizingly slow pace, and by the time it came to be the evening of the third night, I had walked miles going back and forth across my bedroom floor. As night fell, I gathered my belongings into a bag, before walking over to the top drawer of my dresser, where I pulled out a necklace.

On the middle of the chain laid a locket, one that my father had given my mother when they were only children. When you opened it, you read the words “only yours,” and it was charmed so it felt as though you could hear a beating heart. I hesitated, before slipping it into my pocket.

As I closed my bedroom door behind me, my father cleared his throat, startling me. I turned down the hall to see him standing there with his arms crossed.

“And where are you going at this time, little Shrike?” He asked condescendingly.

“It will be easier for you not to know,” I said slowly, squinting my eyes at him. He nodded at me with mild disapproval.

“Be back at dawn. You are to freshen up your skill at swordplay.”

As I approached the border to our realm, I realized it was the first time I had passed through since we raised our defenses. I reached out to touch the slight haze of gray, feeling the magic sparking my fingertips, before I focused my energy and the border gave way to me.

As I entered the outside once more, I felt the change in the air. Our realm protected itself naturally by creating fog and hazing rain, but outside, in the land no one claimed, the air was surprisingly neutral. I hadn’t even thought of the fact that for everyone else it was nearly spring, and that the streams would be thawing and soon full of fish.

I moved swiftly through the underbrush, carefully watching out for patrols from either realm. No matter who caught me, it would be bad if they saw the daughter of Cain all alone in the night.

Soon enough, the trees opened up and moonlight shone clearly onto the shallow water. As I walked upstream, I saw a figure sitting on the bank, tossing rocks and watching droplets leap up in response.

“Hey there stranger,” I called out, and she turned around quickly with a grin.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come!” She exclaimed as she came over to me, before throwing her arms around my shoulders, holding me.

I moved to pull her farther into me, my arms snaking around her waist. Our faces nuzzled into each other’s necks, she had finally grown as tall as me, and as we pulled back our eyes met each other’s.

“Missed you, Nova,” I said with a smile. She nodded, before stepping back and gesturing to where she was sitting. 

What I couldn’t see before was that she brought blankets to sit on, along with fruits that didn’t grow in the wet where I was from. Strawberries and watermelon, the sweeter things that needed sun to grow strong.

“Do you like strawberries?” she asked as she sat back down, reaching over to pop one in her mouth. 

“I don’t know, I’ve only ever heard about them. They can’t grow at home,” I replied, plopping down onto the blanket, taking off my bag and cloak so as to be more comfortable.

“What? They are the best! Here, try one,” She said, holding one up to my mouth.

As I bit into the fruit, my eyes widened in shock. Nothing we grew in our realm tasted as strongly or as sweetly as that. And I quickly ate one after the other, her laughing at my enthusiasm.

She told me about her mother and I told her about my training and she skillfully avoided every turn of conversation towards the day of my initiation. I wondered what she thought occurred, but I was not going to ask her.

As it always did for us, time stood still that night. We talked for hours and laughed and held each other as closely as we could, breathing each other in, and catching up on all the months we had been away from one another.

I pointed out constellations and she told me the stories about them, and then listened to the ones I had been told like it wasn't her ancestors who wrote the legends of the stars. And she asked about my father and if he was as strict as her mother was.

“No, he isn’t. But he is firm, and believes he is always right,” I responded.

We laid in silence for a while after that, watching the moon slowly move across the sky.

“Nova?” I said quietly. 

“Yes?”

“Isn’t your oath taking ceremony tomorrow?”

She sighed deeply, before turning on her side to face me. I looked over at her, and pushed the hair out of her eyes.

“Yeah, it is. But I don’t want to do it.”

“Why?” I asked incredulously. 

“Because I’m not ready to give up the one thing in this world I actually want,” she said quietly, reaching out for me to come closer to her.

I stared back at her, and for a moment I thought of telling her what was going to happen, that in order for her to survive, she will not only lose me but lose her home and her people as well, but she looked so beautiful, the past six months having only brought her closer to perfection, and I didn’t.

“Do you have it memorized?” I asked, half jokingly, and she grinned back at me.

“Of course! My mother made me memorize it when I was five years old.”

“Well, let's hear it then!” I exclaimed, sitting up once more.

“Seriously?” she asked, looking at me in surprise. “Why?”

“Because I want to know what it is you’re swearing your life to.” 

“Fine, fine,” she said as she sat up to face me. I reached forward to eat another strawberry as I watched her close her eyes to focus.

“I am the light that rids us of darkness, I am the passion that gives us purpose. I am the beauty of a freshly bloomed rose, and the thorn that pricks all those that approach. I henceforth bind myself to the wellbeing of my Realm, and swear my heart to it forever.” She finished with a dramatic sigh, throwing herself back onto the blanket. “So ridiculous.”

In that moment, I remember noticing how their oath was so similar to ours, like it was made to compliment, to balance it. I wondered if maybe, a long time ago, our realms hadn’t always been enemies, or whatever they had become.

“It's interesting, that's for sure,” I said giggling and laying back down beside her. When I turned my head to face her once more, I saw our hair tangling together, hers dark, almost black, and mine still shining golden in the moonlight. It was ironic, the way the warmth and light they so highly valued, darkened every part of her.

We went back to silence after that, our fingers curling together. We may have fallen asleep, or simply succumbed to the temptation of our own imaginations. But whatever happened, I knew somewhere deep inside me that the only time I would ever be at peace was next to her.

It wasn’t until we heard the first rustlings of birds that we moved to leave. We rose in silence, folding up the blankets and putting our things back together. 

“Oh wait,” I said suddenly. “I have something for you.”

She turned to me with a curious look on her face. “Oh?”

I patted my pockets until I felt it, and pulled the locket out by the chain. She reached out for it and I let it fall into her cupped hand.

I watched as she picked it up and inspected it. “Open it,” I said.

As she did, the faint sound of a heartbeat, now in tune with mine, filled the atmosphere. She gasped, and looked up at me in a way she never had before. Suddenly, she was kissing me, earnestly, and my hands slid up her waist before one came up to cup the side of her face.

“I, I just,” She started but didn’t finish.

“Shh,” I responded lightly. “I know.”

She kissed me once more, and part of me wanted to take her once more, to feel her touch against me, but the sun was starting to rise, and I knew my father would skin me alive if I missed training.

“Let me put it on you, yeah?” I said quietly, and she nodded, placing it in my hand and turning around.

I draped it around her, and I could smell her shampoo as she moved her hair. As my fingertips grazed the skin on her neck, I realized how vulnerable we both were in that moment. Me, giving her the power of my heartbeat, and her, always showing up, giving me parts of herself that no one else got.

I think that in that moment, I knew that there would never be anyone else for me but her. I would love her forever, or die trying, and no force or father could ever take that from me.

And as I walked back home, I turned to see her disappear through the trees, carrying my heartbeat into the light, I wanted nothing more than to go with her.

\-----

Three days later, a runner came from one of our patrols, he had run so hard he could barely get the words out, but we heard him clearly.

“The princess has taken the oath, and the queen is declaring war.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> want to help me move across the country in two months? my venmo is Cylese-Davidson and my CashApp is CyleseDav


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